idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
