If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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