i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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