weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
