jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
