Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
