i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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