some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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