handjob tips. give me some.
He passed out mid-signature
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
