I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
