drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Sober January is a disaster.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
