Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
