I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
