He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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