were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
