drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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