All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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