your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
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