did you get engaged???
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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