how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
