shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
