Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
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can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
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Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I am mentally ready for anal.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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