last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
