Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
