So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
