Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
