Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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