Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize
