I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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