I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
