dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
