But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
