I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
