Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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