i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
