I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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