Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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