hell yes lets make some ravioli
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
