better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
