I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
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I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
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I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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