We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
