why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
