hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
