margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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