i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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