Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
