Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
