He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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