it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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