I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
