So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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