so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
