He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
