I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
