they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
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