At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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