wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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