Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
