evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
