Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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