There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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