He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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