the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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