I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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