Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
