so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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