every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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