That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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